


Piece of Mind

by rendezvous



Category: Watch Dogs (Video Games)
Genre: Canon Autistic Character, Friendship, Gen, Oneshot, Understanding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-09-01 22:15:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8640208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rendezvous/pseuds/rendezvous
Summary: Ray had never quite known just how to approach Josh. To his vague surprise, Josh is much more approachable than he lets on, and fills him in on why.





	

**Author's Note:**

> At the start of the game, I checked out all of Horatio's reports on each member of Dedsec. When I got to Josh's and Horatio mentioned he was on the autism spectrum, my jaw dropped and I started dancing in my seat - I'm autistic, myself, and hearing actual canon confirmation that a character I would have otherwise /headcanoned/ autistic just blew me away.
> 
> Josh's character portrayal in that regard was excellent, in my opinion. They didn't shove it down your throat, and many characteristics of people on the spectrum (such as him rocking slightly in his seat, sitting on his hands, keeping an unusually rigid posture when uncomfortable, being overstimulated by Lenni's bizarre interface attack (understandably overwhelming - it threw me QUITE the hell off guard, myself!), et cetera... It really warmed my heart to see such an excellent character with a disorder, the same disorder as I have, being so well-written and represented.
> 
> Just goes to show how awesome representation really is!

Josh often looked lonely.

At least, that’s what most of Dedsec thought. Sitara knew him well enough to know that Josh wasn’t necessarily _lonely_ , but rather more of a lon _er_ – he was introverted, that was all. Introverted and absorbed in a reality that varied only slightly from the rest of theirs.

“The phrase ‘own little world’ isn’t inaccurate, it’s just overused,” Josh had said one day, eyes glued to his computer screen despite his company for the afternoon, Raymond Kenney, who was still confused (and a little skeptical) about “this whole ‘autism’ thing”.

“It’s become more of a stock phrase than anything else. Research facilities and Hollywood media just repeat the same thing over and over as if it’s supposed to add anything to the audience’s understanding of the disorder,” Josh continued. “It’s more like living inside your own body. That’s the most accurate way I’ve found to articulate it from a personal perspective.”

“Huh. What about _Rain Man_?”

“ _Rain Man_ was based on a true story but only perpetuated the stereotype that all people on the autism spectrum are mega-geniuses and human calculators with no social skills.”

Ray nodded, exhaling through his nose gruffly. “Sounds a hell of a lot like you, f’ya ask me.”

When he was met with silence on Josh’s end, Ray took the rarely-used initiative to rethink his choice of words. "Uh, I mean… Well, y’know.”

“It’s fine. I know what you meant.” The thin keys at Josh’s laptop never hitched in their gentle _clk-clk-clk_ rhythm.

Their conversation slowed to a halt, as neither of them made any move to pick up where they left off. Ray felt a little bad – Horatio had explained it best that ‘no social skills’ wasn’t always accurate of autistic individuals, and was a hurtful stereotype to keep afloat, both to the masses and people on the spectrum, themselves. Josh was rather difficult to read through his subdued facial expressions and flat tone of voice, so Ray wasn’t sure if he’d offended him, despite the reassurance that he hadn’t just moments earlier.

Ray was just about to take his awkward leave when Josh spoke up again – “I do have friends outside of Dedsec, and I like spending time with them, but it’s just as hard for me to read you guys as it is for you to read me.”

Ray turned his head. “Yeah?” He knit his brow. Something about that last sentence struck a chord. A more tangible comparison. “That’s gotta be tough.”

“Sometimes. You get used to it.” Josh turned in his chair to face Ray for the first time that day, rocking back and forth just slightly in his seat. “It’s gratifying when you meet people who understand, though. Before I was diagnosed I was very lonely and insecure. When I found out there was a name and awareness and understanding platforms for the way my mind works, I didn’t feel that way anymore. Because I know I’m not the only one.” With that, he turned back to his computer and continued working.

Ray felt a little weight lift from his shoulders. “That’s… That’s good, Josh-O. I dunno much about any of this stuff, but I’m glad you’re not rattled by it or anything.”

“Thanks.”

Again, Ray found himself at an unusual loss for words.

“I didn’t mean that passive-aggressively. It means a lot that you guys understand. Most people don’t know much about it and it gets uncomfortable when you’re looked at strangely for something that’s normal to you but foreign to them. You guys don’t do that.”

“Oh.” Ray raised his eyebrows. “Good. Wouldn’t wanna make you feel weird.”

Josh shrugged. “I am weird. I’ve always known that.”

More silence.

“It doesn’t bother me. I like the way I am, even if it’s hard to be me sometimes.”

“… I like you the way you are, too, Josh-O.”

“Thanks. I like the way you are too, Ray.” Josh had his eyes fixed on his screen for the duration of their conversation, with that same monotonous tone of voice, that same neutral expression that almost looked artificial, that same subtle rocking in his seat. To Ray, all of those things combined usually indicated some form of upset, but he sensed Josh was just as comfortable as he said nonetheless.

After a few more minutes of quiet, Ray found himself relaxing just a little – he was used to being around animated, accelerated people who might as well have each been their own personal circus (save for Pearce, but that was neither here nor there), and he didn’t mind that, but it was nice to sit comfortably in silence with a friend for once. It was a rare moment.

Josh abruptly rose from his seat, closing his laptop and carrying it across the way to the Hackerspace exit much like one would a dinner platter. “I’m leaving to go hang out with some friends. We’re going to practice with each other in _Street Fighter_. There’s a tournament coming up. I’ll be back later.” Slipping the laptop into his backpack as though it were a manila folder into an archive, Josh zipped up his bag, slung it over his shoulder, and made his leave upstairs. “Bye, Ray.”

Ray smiled. “Seeya, Josh.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Originally this was supposed to be between Josh and Wrench, on a more specific topic with regards to a common frustration amongst people on the spectrum, but somehow it diverged into Ray awkwardly sitting around and getting to know Josh a little better. I plan to write the other one soon.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing! I just can't stress enough how much I love this game and its wonderful cast.


End file.
